Marauder Banter
by Monica Woodfairy
Summary: This is basically just a bunch of compilations of conversations between the four. Starting in 2nd year and ending when James dies.
1. Pantsed Snape (second year)

**Sirius** \- James... C'mon

 **James** \- Sirius No!

 **Remus** \- This is a bad plan.

 **Peter** \- I am starving!

 **Sirius** \- PLEASE

 **James** \- Sirius, fine damn it!

 **Remus** \- Oh no...

 **Peter** \- Starving...

 **Remus** : This can't end well...

 **Sirius** : Must you be the most concerned twelve year old ever Remus?

 **James** : I can't believe I did that... THAT WAS HILARIOUS

 **Remus** : Was not really...

 **Sirius** : Classic, pantsed that greasy Slytherin, Snivellus!

 **Peter** : STARVING STILL!

 **Remus** : James...

 **Sirius** : Angry Redhead, twelve o'clock!

 **James** : DAMN IT SIRIUS!


	2. What's in the box? (4th year)

(Common Room)

 **Sirius** \- So I told the bird, it's not a present what are you waiting for su-

 **Remus** \- That's enough thank you. *Mock-vomits*

 **James** \- Sirius, you're a dog.

 **Sirius** \- That I am, that I am.

 **Peter** \- I don't get it... What was in the box?

 **Sirius** \- Shepard's pie, Pete.

 **Remus** \- That sounds about right.

 **Sirius** \- I smell a brainy pain in the arse.

 **James** \- *Looks around* Lily?

 **Remus** \- He means me, James.

 **James** \- Oh...

(Great Hall)

 **Lily** \- Potter, leave me alone!

 **James** \- I was only trying to save you from this- thing!

 **Snape** \- My name is Severus!

 **Lily** \- Leave us alone!

 **James** \- But... But...

 **Lily** \- You just tried to hex Severus for no reason. Leave now.

 **James** \- Can't believe you picked Snivellus... This isn't over.

(In bed)

 **Sirius** \- Mate, don't be so gloomy!

 **Remus** \- But why did you attempt to hex him?

 **Peter** \- What were they eating?

 **James** \- What do I have to do! Merlin's beard.


	3. Pad foot, Moony's angry! (5th year)

( _Herbology_ )

 **Remus** \- _Please_ stop, Padfoot.

 **James** \- Yes, I agree.

 **Sirius** \- Prongs, you have to admit Belinda has the nicest arse in fifth year.

 **Peter** \- I agree with you, Pads.

 **Remus** \- *Rolls eyes* I wonder why you're all failing this class.

 **James** \- Look, the only arse I have eyes for is Evans'. Which none of you should be looking at.

 **Sirius** \- It's flat.

 **James** \- *Hits Sirius in the head* It's perfect and don't you look at it again!

 **Remus** \- Sometimes... Just sometimes I wonder what would like be like if it were just Peter and I.

 **Peter** \- That's sweet.

 **Sirius** \- Well, the two of you would be rather chubby and sad.

 **James** \- Don't forget lonely.

 **Sirius** \- Chubby, lonely and sad...

 **Remus** \- I said sometimes.

 **Peter** \- Why am I friends with any of you?

 **Sirius** \- Cheer up, Wormtail! We love you mate, foul smells and all.

 **Peter** \- ...

 **James** \- Lily looks so beautiful today.

 **Sirius** \- She's okay, if you're into that whole smart and controlling thing.

 **Remus** \- *Snorts*

( _Common room_ )

 **James** \- Bloody hell, did you see the way she screamed. Right banshee she is!

 **Remus** \- You know Lily hates when you pick on Severus.

 **Sirius** \- *Gasps* Don't say his name! It's ten years of bad luck.

 **Peter** \- Can solve it with a little Felix-

 **James** \- Peter, shut up! Look here, he called her the 'M' word. That's not alright, not one bit.

 **Sirius** \- Who cares James! Belinda told me that her and the Patil girl would like to meet us in the astronomy tower for... I think she said an anatomy lesson...

 **James** \- A what what?

 **Sirius** \- I don't know. Muggle borne can be very hard to talk to, look let's just go! If they try to pull out the text books we can pull out something else!

 **Remus** \- SIRIUS!

 **Peter** \- Can I go?

 **Sirius** \- No, sorry mate.

 **James** \- I am not going, nor am I pulling anything out anywhere!

 **Remus** \- *Looks at Sirius upset*

 **Sirius** \- What?

 **Remus** \- You know what. *Walks upstairs*

 **Peter** \- I think Moony is mad.

 **James** \- What just happened?

 **Sirius** \- *Scratches head* Hell if I know, Prongs.

(Please leave a comment if you think I should do more)


End file.
